Posts Tagged ‘long-distance relationships’

Yeah, we're kinda like that.

Previous installments: Part 1: Online tools for your long-distance relationships; Part 2: Friends and family

So, to the left is me, and to the right is my boyfriend, Abraham.  We’ve been together about a year and nine months now, all of which has been long-distance—we’ve been long distance since the very beginning of our relationship.  We’ve had lots of ups and downs, but I think we’re at a point now where we’ve gotten the long-distance part down, and the rest of our problems are just personality issues that we’re working out.  So, while I wouldn’t consider myself super knowledgeable on long-distance relationships, I think I still have a fair amount of experience that I can share, particularly for those who have never had to deal with distance in a relationship before. :)

Since this entry is pretty long, it’s divided into three parts:

1. General advice,
2. Communication (verbal and physical), and
3. Sex in a long-distance relationship

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Part 1 focused on online tools that facilitate communication and other activities in a long-distance relationship.  In this entry, I’ll be focusing on advice for managing long-distance family relationships and friendships.  This part will be shorter than the others, mostly because this way of interacting is so personal to each individual, and most people figure out their own balance without thinking too hard about it.

That said, though, there are still some pointers that are pretty helpful regardless of your situation.  Also, I’m writing these posts for all audiences—some things might be obvious to an 18-year-old but totally mindblowing to a 50-year-old, for example!

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I’m still barely 19, so I can’t say I have all the world’s experience on managing maintaining long-distance relationships.  At the same time, I can say that I live on the opposite end of the country from where I’m going to school, and that, in the nearly two years I’ve been with my boyfriend, I can probably count the number of times I’ve been able to spend an extended amount of time with him (eight times, I think, averaging to about 1.5–2 weeks each visit).  So I can still say I’ve got a fair share of experience, and I’m at the point where I feel like the “managing” part of my relationship is just in the background, and any other difficulties I have are a result of my human flaws.

I decided to write this post because I’ll be going abroad this summer, and I’ll be in a leadership role to 25 first-year students.  Not a huge leadership role, but I’m still expected to help them adjust and make the most of their time abroad.  And one thing that can be such a silent struggle, both in day-to-day life and when confronted with unusual events like studying abroad, is having to manage a long-distance relationship.  Not just a romantic relationship, but long-distance family relationships and friendships.

I started writing this post and it ballooned to over 3,000 words long, so I’ll be posting it in different segments with different topics for ease of reference and easy reading.  Part I: Online tools for your long-distance relationships!

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