Posts Tagged ‘religion’

I apologize in advance for the disjointed nature of this post.  It’s taken me two days to write it, and I’ve gone through and edited it and rewritten it at least five times.  Hopefully, my meaning will still come through despite the roughness.

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Yesterday, I attended a couple of events related to interfaith work on college campuses hosted by the Interfaith Youth Core.  The presentation for our learning community was on convictions, and, towards the end of the meeting, we came upon a final question: Why is interfaith work important, and how will you extend this experience to impact the rest of your campus?  Subsequently: What is the value in having these kinds of heated, controversial discussions with people?

After a number of people offered their viewpoints, I decided to offer my own.  I struggle with presenting ideas to large groups; I struggle with presenting ideas in an oral manner, period.  I feel that my thoughts are fleeting and unstructured, and I find capturing them an enormously difficult, particularly when I have to do it on the spot.  So I said things as clearly as I could and hoped that my message would get across: Interfaith work is important not just to understand different groups of people and replace caricatures of them with experiences of real people as another person had suggested, but also because interfaith work forces you to strengthen your own identity.  Heated debates—not just open dialogue—force you to gather what’s wishy-washy inside, gather what’s scattered, and form a stronger core within you.  Only when you have that core are you able to accomplish things and to have any sense of direction.

And that’s when it hit me.  I had to work to keep my voice steady and to make sure that I wouldn’t break down into tears in front of all the people who were gathered in that room.  That was what had been missing in my life lately:  I have no core.  Right now, I am scattered.  I have no core; I have no center; I am easily swayed because there is nothing within me that codes a solid set of beliefs, and there is nothing within me that codes who I am.  I am a sheet of dried leaves blanketing the ground; I am the skeletal tree branches that reach towards the sky—as scene viewed from the outside, I’m fine; I’m a lovely winter day.

But, fundamentally, I’m empty and dead. (more…)